expressing the inspired little DREAM.


Sunday, 25 November 2012

We're One Malaysia, right?

When I'm study here, lots of question bothering me. 

" Kat Sarawak still tinggal kat rumah panjang ke?"
Yes. we are. we never left our culture. But we also have one bungalow in the city.

" kat Sabah guna Ringgit juga ke? "
Sabah is part of Malaysia if you people study History & Geography in your school back then.

" Hell yeah. what a ugly face. Totally like IBAN! "
seriously this statement is hurting me inside, outside & at all sides. 
firstly nobody ugly. and saying a RACE to  symbolized the UGLYNESS is too CRUEL.
 Plus  "I AM IBAN GIRL."

Should I says that when we're older we will take everything differently or everything actually turned out differently. 
Or the things are different when we're at different places, with different people and different race and religion? 
Did I mentioned " different race & religion"? 
Well, when I was young I thought that we're in one country which also under one nation, Malaysia. 
Yeahh. We are, right? 
So, our differences should not be an issue, it's unique.

But nowadays, why did our race & religion suppose to be a matter for us to be together as Malaysians. 
Even if it's hard to be together, why don't just respect each other? 
If we don't want to respect each other, then just ignore him/her. 
We don't have to bring up or insulting their race or the religion.
It's nothing to do with that. 
If the person want to be a bad bad person, it's her/his choice.
No religions or races in the world taught their people to be a bad person. 
I think that is just a bad mentality for we Malaysian if we do that.
Cause Malaysia looks so proud with the culture that we Malaysians can be unite & live together though we have different races & religions & cultures. 

People, just be proud of our Malaysia and the cultures that we have. 
Included Sarawak & Sabah cultures. 
Don't treat us as the outsiders just because we are not standing on one land, divided by an ocean.

P/s: If you insulting Sabah & Sarawak, you just insulting part of your own country.
*I know I'm being so patriotic today. There a reason why. ^^*

Peace no war ! >.<

First Impression

"Whenever we come to a new place, meeting new people, we will always encounter the same situation which everyone will trying to judge who we are at first sight. And that's why we should give them kind of "amazing" first impression. "

okay. I think that would be a good start for my Personal Development presentation on this Thursday.

The title : How to make a good first impression?

To be honest, I not really good in giving a good first impression throughout my days back then. Maybe it is too awkward to meet new people right? yeah. 

Some of the comments that I got from my friends when they first met me was sometimes, far more different of who I am ; and sometimes too hard too be true that they can figure me out. 

" you looks so matured back then that I thought you are a serious girl."
" your friend (me) looks kind of innocent and kind girl." *yes I am. hahah*
" you! Jadi bendahari, muka macam gangster. senang nak minta duit nanti. " 

I was so shocked back then. LOL. never thought my face can be analyzed in such a various versions.

Should I asks which one of me is good, the one they think of me or who i am at real? I think we should be better than what they think of us. In a good way. 

Hope I can have a good presentation bout this topic for my subject. 

P/s: Making some points in blog is much inspiring than using microsoft words. ^^

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Dear Papa

I'm listening to a song. And the lyrics are so touched and meaningful. Just wanna shared.

Dedicated to my papa,
"Thank you for being my dad."

A son rarely tells his Father 
How he really feels, 

A handshake or a pat on the back 
Is all that he reveals,

I'd like to right that wrong,

Here in this little song.

Thank you for shaping my life, 

Thank you for teaching me all you can,

You are no ordinary man,

You make me everything I am.

Thank you for taking the time, 

Thank you for showing me the way, 

And thank you for being there
When I need you, 

Thank you for every single day.

Now I've been blessed with a son of my own, 

Got my own bedtime stories to tell,

If I can raise him half as well
As you raised me, 

Guess I'll be doing pretty well.

Thank you for your guiding hand, 

Thank you for making my dreams come true, 

You're an extraordinary man,

And I hope you're as proud of me

As I am proud of you.

Thank you for giving me life, 

Thank you for showing me good from bad
I guess I'm only really trying to say,

Thank you for being my Dad.

Even though the years drift away, 
never took the time just to say,

'I love you, and I always have,

And thank you for being my Dad.'

P/s : I'm sorry that I'm sulking too much. Love you Papa. =D

Thursday, 8 November 2012


Tear drops in my heart

"Crying is my deepest expression in life."

Feel lonely.
I'll cry.

feel very very mad.
I'll cry.

so bad bad mood. 
I'll cry.

so touching touching. 
I'll cry.

And I'll cry a lots lots more when I'm sad.

The tears will never stop whenever the emotion is hurt. 
 And the reason of crying never makes sense sometimes. 
All I wanna do is just cry till I feel sleepy. 
& The hurt will slowly leaving me. 
It's the best 
medicine for my heart.

"Let's cry when you are alone & then smile like you never cry."

P/s : I cry so much in these few days. And I'll be fine. I'm okay. ^^

Lots of Love, 

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Sweet, Dream Girl

Let's Imagine! 


Just be what you wanna be! And what will you be?
* Come on. Don't be so naive by saying you wanna be a doctor. ==" *

Be something. Someone. Or whatever type of person.


And me, I will think of myself as a cool type of girl who doesn't give a shit bout what people says. 
* but I can't be this type, cause I really care bout what people think of me.*


and  wanna be a girl who can plays guitar or drum or any kind of music instruments that looks cool. 
*Please, not a trumpet!!! *

and I wanna be a girl who lost in the world of photography. cam whore!

And I wanna be a real good dancer! Dancing & poppin like Pauline Matta or Keone & Mariel couple! 
* Oooo ... wouldn't I be so cool ? .. Aww! *

And I wanna be good in sport also. Like volleyball & netball  & basketball especially. That's all. 
* but I'm so weak in sport. Totally bad! *

And good in playing pool. A girl who play like guys is awesome right? hehehheh.
* I plays also. But not awesome. Always an amateur. no progress. *

And Tattoo. I like it. I want it sometimes. 
* But I'm girl who live in a conservative culture. It will turn into a bad perception. & plus, My papa will sooooo  marah okay!! so, forget it.  *

and living in the world of nothing is important. Just live our life! No test, no study, no assignment. whoahhhh!!
It would be awesome. >.< And no need to work. hahah. Money just plus-ing automatically! What in the world!!! =DD

P/s : That's just what I imagine what I wanna be sometimes. A real imaginary me. I glad with who I am now. I wanna be a better person. Living a great life! 

Lot's of love, 

Monday, 5 November 2012

My Beautiful Peoples

 Family is my everything. They are the precious thing to me. We are not perfect but we perfect each other.

I have 6 beautiful persons in my beautiful sweet & cute family. Papa, mama, my eldest sister, my younger sister, my youngest brother and my sexy granny.

My Apai. He's our captain. Whatever he says must be followed. But, don't misunderstood, he's not that strict like a soldier. He's a funny dad, always make those silly billy jokes and tease us especially my mom. But, sometimes, we get hurts easily with his jokes though we know it's just a joke. Yeah, we get sulk so easy especially when dad do the teasing things. Owhh. Very sensitive ! He maybe a funny dad, but he's pretty scary when he's mad! I'll be angry too to hide that scared feeling. >.< He may not a great dad, but he's my favorite and beloved dad. He's the BEST PAPA! He always told us to do the best for our own benefits. He supports us no matter what we do, but he never told us, he done that secretly. And one thing that he always done throughout his life is giving his best for his childs.

Mak saya. She's the one who understand our feeling when we're sad. But we never understand how she felt. Sometimes. Somehow, we always love her. She's our one and only mama in the whole wide world. But, beware! she's like a time bomb, she can mad like a lion if we do something wrong. For example, mess up the kitchen. Ohhh please! don't do that. She'll be really really mad. somehow, we get used to it. It feels weird if she not scold us. Especially my dad. If my mom not scold him that, he'll get sick. He said that. Haha. Its kind of like our family routine. And I usually lose my anger toward my mom when I get mad by my papa. And vice versa. I'll get mad with the one who are not make me mad. I don't know why. It's like a Combo set. I'm sorry mom. And sorry that I ever made your tears fall. I know that sometimes I made her hurts inside. I'm just your child. =D

Konnie Jati
She's my older sister. She's the eldest. She's like my inspiration. We are like twins. Not that we look alike, it's because we always together, beside she just 1 year older than me. I'm growing up by watching her and she watching me.She's very talkative, dream high, optimistic and brave.  But she's scary when she angry but because of we are both Aquarians, it'll be dangerous if anger involved. Since childhood, we always share almost everything and experience things together. Whatever things that I've done and get today are all thanks to her. She's the one who guide me most in everything I do.  Her attitudes affects my behaviors and personality. She dances, I dance; she's debate, me too; whatever she joins, I'll join too. It's like buy 1 free 1. If you want her, you get me too. For free. Hahha! Now, she's married. And one child.  I wish her the best, and have a family like ours. She once said "Follows what I've done right and ignore what I've done wrong." She's a great great sister.  She's getting fat now. Like me. Now we look alike.

Normi Entika
She's my younger sister. All she cares about  is being pretty and cute with her "pretty mole" konon. She's really like a sister cause she's always manja-manja and being so sweet. But it would be different if she's sulking, which is usually because my dad tease her, she'll be so cold, scary and crying emotionally. Hahha! That would be so funny. It's like I'm watching myself within her, she's a lots like me. Always keeps something inside, but giving smile all the time and cheer people up. She being so sensitive lately. And I really want to tell her that she's a great person, she don't have to be like other people, because she is special and unique. A growing teenager who need guide and supports is what I used to describe her. I knows she'll be like me when she grown up! And her cutie and manja side, please don't lose that. She'll always a small kid to me. Forget one thing, she is very honest and very outspoken, I gets scared when she being so brave saying what she wanna say when she's mad. She's a BOMB. Beware!

Darron Medang
The only prince in our kingdom. He's born a super cute baby and growing up handsomely and tall. He's the tallest among us. He born like a snow white, but became dark knight recently. cause he's a sport person. He and Normi are both good in sport more than me and Konnie do. Told you what, he like to show his macho side in front of others, stay cool and shy and silent. so girly right! nope. He straight okay, no bengkok-bengkok. But once he's with me, he's like a child, even with his long legs and tall body, he acts like a small litlle kid. Wrestling all over the bed with the pillows with me. And I remembered that one time I wanna sayang him, he goes " malu laa. orang meda. hmmm."  Yeah, don't hugs or kiss him in front of his friends, he'll get embarrased. So what? this big sister don't care! He's not a hyperactive one, he tends to hide something, so need more care. Plus, he's becoming a guy. I wish for his best and I believes he'll become a great guy! shayang bujang!

Beloved one. She's a cute, sweet and fierce granny. Hahha. Always nagging all day long. no matter you want to listen to her or not, she still keep talking and talk till you do what she want you to do. Always take good care of us-her grandchildren very well. We are close to her cause she's the one who took care of us during our childhood when my parents are busy with works. She's a great granny. She makes everything is always possible for us. And she gets sensitive sometimes, don't ever talk to her with higher tone, she can tear up easily. Old folk really sensitive much. But that was then, she's not really well now. It's been almost 3 years she's lying on the bed. Her health getting worse from day to day, no more nags, no more laughs, no more smile, there only sickness and tears. She can't even walk now, Even move her body is almost impossible. She'll cry whenever I go far from home, afraid that she'll never meet me again. I really wish she can be healthy as before, I don't mind listen to her nags all day long. It'll be much happier. I know it almost impossible. But I know, God is always there for us.
Please be healthy! I love you so much. I had lose grandpa, I don't want to lose you. ;(

Being far from family make the bond of love gets thicker, I love them so much. They are my life, my beautiful peoples!

P/s: I'm sorry, I'm missing you all. - inspired by One litre of Tears.

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Untuk Dia


Kelu lidah berkata. 
kaku jari jemari.
mata terpana saja.
melekat pada seorang jejaka
dia idaman semua.
yang perempuan sahaja.

aku cuba mencuba.
mahu tahu bagaimana.
selama nie tak pernah sekali meluah rasa.
biar suka macamana.

aku bukan meluah rasa cinta.
sekadar ingin berkawan.
mula-mula diterima.
sekadar dalam dunia alam maya.
sebagai kawan.
bertuahnya rasa.

Tapi itu sementara.
sebab aku ingin mencuba lagi.
aku ucap kata kata
sempena hari lahir dia.
esoknya aku cuba periksa, dia balas apa.

aku mula rasa kecewa. 
dia suka ucapan dari semua.
kecuali aku punya diketepikan.
aku pun tertanya-tanya.

Hari ini hari lahir dia.

dan aku
TAKKAN ucap benda sama yang akan buat aku kecewa.
mungkin terlalu hina bagi dia untuk suka ucapan aku itu.

dan aku
 ingin Berhenti Berharap.
Ingin biar wujud dia semakin hilang dalam minda, dalam hati, dalam sanubari.

jadi aku. nekad.
aku akan putuskan hubungan kawan yang hanya pada status alam maya semata-mata.
dia tidak berbaloi untuk aku suka, untuk aku puja.
dia hanya orang biasa yang aku pernah rasa sangat menarik orangnya.

mungkin ya. 
tapi dia tidak pernah beri peluang untuk aku mengenalinya.

sekadar mengukir bicara.
Aku dengan ini ingin melupakan kamu, wahai kamu.

P/s: aku bukan putus asa tanpa mencuba, aku sudah muak dengan rasa kecewa kerana dia.