" Being myself sometimes never give that kind of satisfaction that I'm started to doubt myself. This life isn't the one that i want. I want different. But way better. tell me that i'm an ungrateful bitch that always feel so lifeless and envious toward others but that's me. I mad at myself for what i feel but it didn't change the way i think. I'm look around and always realizing that they are so lucky. seriously. maybe there are quotes that says we never know their life stop judge who they are. Hell yeah ! come on. I'm not judging them but i'm so envying them that I can't live my own life. Like the one that i saw yesterday, after watching some movies, we just don't know what to do with our life. Told you what, movies and peoples does affect my life. The way they dress up, they talk, they walk, they survive and they live. All of it. Like they live in the one I watch in the movie, the one that i read in story book, the one that heard in fairy tales. But mine? I don't wanna blame anyone. Nobody right or wrong. This is me and my life. I'm gifted for something that I don't know. I'm gifted with something that I can't see with my own eyes. I'm gifted with something that I guess nobody even care to feel jealous. Is it true? I really wanna feels how they feel about me. Does anyone ever realized or noticed about me? Bet they wouldn't. well. Maybe I never know. How can I manage to live in them to see my life? If magic does exist, then maybe it would be great. And i can see my life through my own eyes. I don't know what that i'm nonsense-ing here. I just i'm feel like writing and saying these stupid things. Hope nobody will read this and that nobody will never tell anyone and don't even care. "