I'm so ..

I think I'm growing up and growing old. I've met many people, learn many things and changed. Yes, I have changed. Like in a good way maybe.

I may not a totally bad person but not a nice one either. I have the good and bad in me. Before, when I was in middle school, I have this kind of mindset that people just get along with people who have the same humors as they are. I couldn't stand anyone who have different opinions from me, like I would get mad easily. I hate the fact that their opinions are so silly and why don't they just accept mine. And now that I changed (I think I have but I don't know if I do), I know I'm growing mature over things like that. That everyone have their own opinions and you just need certain way to deal with it, accept it, argue about it, ignore it, it depends on yourself. You're the one that should decide how you want to deal with it. 

But now that I changed, people think that I'm a good friend, like always nice, always say good things and do good deeds. Always accept who they are. Yes, maybe I am. Like such an idiot sometimes. Just listen to what they want, bear with their anger, their selfishness, their moods AND sometimes,  I JUST GETTING SUCK OF ITS. I hate being this Mother Theresa, advise them and comfort them and stuff, why did I be the one who shall bear with those attitudes ? Because simply, I want peace. I hate argument. I hate people who always think of what they want, what they think, what they need, what their stories are, what their life is all about, all about them. I think if I ever ask, they will never knew that I ever get mad at them sometimes, for being so childish. And I can't even express my thoughts in front of them because I don't wanna be like them, saying things out loud and make things harder. I prefer to just stay quiet, and go with the flows.

But there are some friends that I met are really nice, i feel comfortable with that make me feels like home. Like family. They make me so comfortable that I can show my anger at them (because that is who I am, I get sulk and emotional easily if you really know me). I can express my feelings well with friends that I comfortable with if they ever realize that. I bet they did not. 


I just feel so stress and fed up.

I can't do anything.

I'm already at the limit of my patience. 

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