Fairy Tale of Black Pearl

When I'm study here, lots of question bothering me.  " Kat Sarawak still tinggal kat rumah panjang ke?" Yes. we are. we never left our culture. But we also have one bungalow in the city. " kat Sabah guna Ringgit juga ke? " Sabah is part of Malaysia if you people study History & Geography in your school back then. " Hell yeah. what a ugly face. Totally like IBAN! " seriously this statement is hurting me inside, outside & at all sides.  firstly nobody ugly. and saying a RACE to  symbolized the UGLYNESS is too CRUEL.  Plus  "I AM IBAN GIRL." Should I says that when we're older we will take everything differently or everything actually turned out differently.  Or the things are different when we're at different places, with different people and different race and religion?  wait.  Did I mentioned " different race & religion"?  Well, when I was young I thought that we're in one...

"Whenever we come to a new place, meeting new people, we will always encounter the same situation which everyone will trying to judge who we are at first sight. And that's why we should give them kind of "amazing" first impression. " okay. I think that would be a good start for my Personal Development presentation on this Thursday. The title : How to make a good first impression? To be honest, I not really good in giving a good first impression throughout my days back then. Maybe it is too awkward to meet new people right? yeah.  Some of the comments that I got from my friends when they first met me was sometimes, far more different of who I am ; and sometimes too hard too be true that they can figure me out.  " you looks so matured back then that I thought you are a serious girl." " your friend (me) looks kind of innocent and kind girl." *yes I am. hahah* " you! Jadi bendahari, muka macam gangster. senang nak mi...

I'm listening to a song. And the lyrics are so touched and meaningful. Just wanna shared. Dedicated to my papa, "Thank you for being my dad." A son rarely tells his Father 
How he really feels,  
A handshake or a pat on the back 
Is all that he reveals, 
I'd like to right that wrong, 
Here in this little song. Thank you for shaping my life,  
Thank you for teaching me all you can,
 You are no ordinary man, 
You make me everything I am. Thank you for taking the time,  
Thank you for showing me the way,  
And thank you for being there
When I need you,  
Thank you for every single day. Now I've been blessed with a son of my own,  
Got my own bedtime stories to tell, 
If I can raise him half as well
As you raised me,  
Guess I'll be doing pretty well. Thank you for your guiding hand, 
 Thank you for making my dreams come true,  
You're an extraordinary man,
 And I hope you're as proud of me
 As I am proud of you. Thank you for giving ...

Tear drops in my heart "Crying is my deepest expression in life." Feel lonely. I'll cry. feel very very mad. I'll cry. so bad bad mood.  I'll cry. so touching touching.  I'll cry. And I'll cry a lots lots more when I'm sad. The tears will never stop whenever the emotion is hurt.   And the reason of crying never makes sense sometimes.  All I wanna do is just cry till I feel sleepy.  & The hurt will slowly leaving me.  It's the best  medicine for my heart. " Let's cry when you are alone & then smile like you never cry." P/s : I cry so much in these few days. And I'll be fine. I'm okay. ^^ Lots of Love,  emmalinnaggiebaring

Let's Imagine!  *** Just be what you wanna be! And what will you be? * Come on. Don't be so naive by saying you wanna be a doctor. ==" * Be something. Someone. Or whatever type of person. And me, I will think of myself as a cool type of girl who doesn't give a shit bout what people says.  * but I can't be this type, cause I really care bout what people think of me.* and  wanna be a girl who can plays guitar or drum or any kind of music instruments that looks cool.  *Please, not a trumpet !!! * and I wanna be a girl who lost in the world of photography. cam whore! And I wanna be a real good dancer! Dancing & poppin like Pauline Matta or Keone & Mariel couple!  * Oooo ... wouldn't I be so cool ? .. Aww! * And I wanna be good in sport also. Like volleyball & netball  & basketball especially. That's all.  * but I'm so weak in sport. Totally bad! * And good in playing pool. A g...

 Family is my everything. They are the precious thing to me. We are not perfect but we perfect each other. I have 6 beautiful persons in my beautiful sweet & cute family. Papa, mama, my eldest sister, my younger sister, my youngest brother and my sexy granny. Papa My Apai. He's our captain. Whatever he says must be followed. But, don't misunderstood, he's not that strict like a soldier. He's a funny dad, always make those silly billy jokes and tease us especially my mom. But, sometimes, we get hurts easily with his jokes though we know it's just a joke. Yeah, we get sulk so easy especially when dad do the teasing things. Owhh. Very sensitive ! He maybe a funny dad, but he's pretty scary when he's mad! I'll be angry too to hide that scared feeling. >.< He may not a great dad, but he's my favorite and beloved dad. He's the BEST PAPA! He always told us to do the best for our own benefits. He supports us no matter what we do, but ...

^^ Kelu lidah berkata.  kaku jari jemari. mata terpana saja. melekat pada seorang jejaka dia idaman semua. yang perempuan sahaja. aku cuba mencuba. mahu tahu bagaimana. selama nie tak pernah sekali meluah rasa. biar suka macamana. pembetulan. aku bukan meluah rasa cinta. sekadar ingin berkawan. mula-mula diterima. sekadar dalam dunia alam maya. sebagai kawan. bertuahnya rasa. Tapi itu sementara. sebab aku ingin mencuba lagi. aku ucap kata kata sempena hari lahir dia. esoknya aku cuba periksa, dia balas apa. Hahahahaha. aku mula rasa kecewa.  dia suka ucapan dari semua. kecuali aku punya diketepikan. kenapa?  aku pun tertanya-tanya. Hari ini hari lahir dia. dan aku TAKKAN ucap benda sama yang akan buat aku kecewa. mungkin terlalu hina bagi dia untuk suka ucapan aku itu. dan aku  ingin Berhenti Berharap. Ingin biar wujud dia semakin hilang dalam minda, dalam hati, dalam sanubar...